Weekly Reflection

Our Children are Not Our Children: But They Should Be

My friend called me up to tell me she had to leave her office for a while because she had become overwhelmed by the first two clients she had seen.  She called me because of the long standing friendship we have and because she knew I had worked for many years with youth that were homeless, gang involved, abused and neglected.  She thought that I could offer some insight and support. She works with pregnant and parenting teens in Tennessee.  She explained that her first client was a fifteen year old that was pregnant with her fourth child; she didn’t have to say any more about that one. 

It was her second client that had caused her so much consternation that she had to leave her office for the rest of the day. The young lady was seventeen years old and seven months pregnant.  She had received no prenatal care besides an ultra sound to determine the sex of the child.  My friend asked her how the pregnancy had progressed; if she experienced morning sickness and how much weight she had gained. The young woman appeared annoyed by her questions and answered each with an attitude.  My friend shared with her that at seven months, she should be feeling significant movement and asked if the baby moved a lot.  Her answer sent my friend into a tailspin she would not soon recover from. 

The girl responded with the following: “Yes, she moves a lot and whenever she kicks me, I just bop her” she then demonstrated by punching herself in the abdomen.  My friend was understandably shaken by this and could barely respond and after hearing this story I could deeply empathize with her.  It is likely that this particular youth was accustomed to violence and physical abuse, either as a witness and or, as a victim.  The bad news is that this teen mom may have already done irreparable damage to her unborn child.  The good news is, she can learn and change with help.  And it is the ‘help’ that I wish to focus on here.

Some of us may feel that the responsibility lies with the parents alone, that it’s nobody else’s business. We are living at a time when we may be seeing multiple generations of teen parents, where there is often a protracted absence of mature adult guidance and protection.  This does not necessarily spell doom but it requires all of us to pay attention.  It requires the “village” that I often speak about; others may call it ‘community’ however we term it, this coming together to embrace, guide and protect our children is vital.  Our children and youth are resilient and you would be amazed how well they can recover from seemingly insurmountable troubles.  Sometimes all it takes is one caring adult to make a positive difference in the lives of a young person.  Never give up on them, to do so, would mean giving up on all of us.  Together we can save the children! 

Your Sister,

Joy

Archives

A Harm to Themselves and Others: Black, Mentally Ill and Imprisoned, October 2, 2009

The State of Black Youth, September 25, 2009

Ring with the Harmonies of Liberty: a journey to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, September 19, 2009

America's First Black President, November 2008

"It is the work of 'healing', of mastering our ability to build rather than destroy, to embrace rather than reject, and to fully take responsibility for our choices. In this way, each of us can "be the healing" that we seek!"